A Love Story

I met @mariepoulin on Twxtter in 2009, if you can believe it. I was living in Seattle, she in Vancouver (the Canadian one).

I was searching for things to do in Kaua’i on my honeymoon and had found her custom designed WordPress log of her trip. I thought “who spends this much time on a travel doc?” I DM’d her to say “nice site”.

We started chatting and then we did work for each other’s businesses. Total buddies. I thought nothing of it just “Marie is a great designer and a kind person”. We chat on Skype every now and then. “How’s the wife? How’s the boyfriend?” With zero expectations we share a lot of detail, maybe even some stuff we’re not sharing with many others.

She comes to Seattle with her boyfriend for a conference. We meet up with them (my wife and I) and I spend the night mostly talking with her about websites, excitedly trying to teach each other everything we’ve learned running our own businesses.

That night my then-wife says “you should be with someone like her, I’ve never seen you light up like that” (my ex was a very unique woman—I still admire her a lot—really was not jealous, just good at observation. Possibly at this time she is thinking “I don’t want to be with Ben; is this a way out?”)

Over the next year, wife teases me: “how’s the Canadian girlfriend? I’m like, “pshaw, what do you mean?” (legitimately I am at this time not a man in touch with his emotions; I do not see it).

Fast-forward a couple years. Marie had disappeared from Skype. My relationship had fallen apart, had a mediated divorce, about to finalize the separation. Marie pops up on Skype.

“Hey, what’ve you been up to?”
“Broke up with the boyfriend, spent 3 months in Bali!”
“No way, I’m almost divorced!”

She tells me she’s going to be in Seattle next weekend to play in a Gaelic football tournament. I now have an empty house so invite her and her friend to crash and I’ll go watch them play.

On my birthday I write my ex a big-ass check and go to King’s in Ballard to meet up with Marie. She expects sad divorced dude but I show up at 110% and obviously, now unbounded and unbothered, it’s like immediate we’re fucking soul mates. At the game I give Marie a side-hug after a great play and she’s like “wait, what…is this…?!”. They win the game and that night Marie asks if she can kiss me and I'm all “fuck yeah, man”.

Marie goes back to Van and the reality of living in different countries sets in, but at this point I am a completely different human being. I immediately go mad packing up my stuff, sell everything, go back and forth on the bus to Canada every few weeks, plan on shutting down my business, researching immigration. Don’t care, this woman is all that matters.

I had two buddies supporting me through the divorce. One is like, “be careful, this is rebound”, and the other is like “this is the best, she’s awesome, you’re awesome!” I love these guys so much for being themselves at this time. Neither is right or wrong, but just want me to be good. How good is that?

I spend 6 months getting my application together. I apply under a no-longer-existing visa for self-employed business owners. Only 85 were given out the past year. I’m drunk with love and don’t think that reality applies. I somehow get approved a year later and finally make it to Canada after 18 months of living on a Bolt Bus.

We’ve been together for ~13 years now and we spend just about every moment together, work on the same business together, and she’s still the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.

🖤